By Jeff Burton
If you really, really think you can drive your car into the water and hit the gas with no repercussions, then please do so and I'll even fill your tank for you. Oh, and when you are filling your tank, did you know smoking a cigarette next to a gas pump is dangerous? Gas pump! By definition, I'd say gas pump should scare even the dumbest human away from lighting a lighter, but hey go for it.
Let's thin the heard a bit. "Use only as directed." Oh, really? So I am not supposed to use my Windex as a steak marinade? Useful information. FDA!!! I don't mean to go all George Carlin on you, but I get upset when Bacardi shows me all the half-naked women that apparently love to drink and dance around, yet at the bottom of the screen, Bacardi tells those very women to "drink responsibly."
I am confused. Don't you want me, as the consumer, happy? If yes, then stop telling half-nude hot women to drink responsibly. Let's thin the heard. If you really need to be told these things not to do, then please do them in your home and make us all look that much better.
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